Sonder (v.)

Just like Robin S. Sharma said, “As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.“ Solo travelling made my self quality increased, especially about panic management and how to stick with your own schedule. It made my perception and perspectives goes wider and broader, because I met so many people from around the world with their own stories, and somehow their stories inspired me and it gave some new ideas, insights and goals for myself. Plus I slept at hostel with six bunkbeds— like literally my roommates changed every single day. You will know your nation’s disadvantages and at the same you’ll know why your country is where you belong. You will have so many great stories to be shared with your beloved family and friends. Because I was traveling alone I realized that I have such a strong mental when it comes to facing pressures (mostly because of my own stupidity 😂 ). I gave myself five stars for my panic management BE...

The things that are lingering  Around the city right now  Is unsettling - like mindful shadows creeping  I hope everyone  Finds some type of happiness that stays with them Even for a little bit To truly appreciate the good when life goes sour And understand that you can feel so much in so many different ways ;  The sun sets and rise,  Set and rise

re·sil·ient (Adj.) rə ˈ zilyənt 1. (of a person) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. synonyms: strong, tough, hardy; quick to recover, buoyant, irrepressible 2. (of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed. synonyms: flexible, pliable, supple; durable, hardwearing, stout, strong, sturdy, tough One of my close friend said that I have this trait; resilient. “Meriel, you are resilient as fuck. Whatever it is you will always rebuild and you will be stronger because of it. I have seen you go through awful things and it always amazes me how you always come out of it better, more beautiful and somehow not as cynical as most would be.” I just realized—now that I look back to my past—yes, I am that tough. At least I believe that I am that tough. I am so grateful to have someone who can remind me of this kind of thing- reminding me how beautiful human being I can be.

I feel nervous about everything all the time. It’s hard for me to relax in the moments I am supposed to relax because the awareness of all the things I have to be nervous about is like a lightning crack in the way that it is impossible to pay attention to any other thing. In the way it fills up a room. There is a vulgarity to all this nervousness, and I’m nervous about that too, because it represents a specific and objective kind of failure — a metric that lays bare the way I am not as I should be. I hold my breath when someone throws shades on me. I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark space inside myself and die like a stray cat you find under your porch weeks later and only because it has started to smell. I feel like I have fallen asleep on the train and woken up somewhere strange, where I don’t know the customs. I am a foreigner and all I can do is marvel at this breathtaking difference in the gravity we feel about a story about a woman who isn’t me — whether it is light-hea...

Everyone says you shouldn’t rely on another person to fill the empty spaces in your heart. They tell you you are just as strong as your own. But the way I see it, some of those empty spaces are only shaped for another person to fill it. It doesn’t matter how much you love yourself or how confident you are, in the end you can’t hold yourself while you’re crying, or roll yourself, you can’t roll over and hug yourself after a bad dream to fall back to sleep. Life is all about love, and love is meant to be shared

Just like Robin S. Sharma said, “As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.“ Solo travelling made my self quality increased, especially about panic management and how to stick with your own schedule. It made my perception and perspectives goes wider and broader, because I met so many people from around the world with their own stories, and somehow their stories inspired me and it gave some new ideas, insights and goals for myself. Plus I slept at hostel with six bunkbeds— like literally my roommates changed every single day. You will know your nation’s disadvantages and at the same you’ll know why your country is where you belong. You will have so many great stories to be shared with your beloved family and friends. Because I was traveling alone I realized that I have such a strong mental when it comes to facing pressures (mostly because of my own stupidity 😂 ). I gave myself five stars for my panic management BE...

The sound from my bathroom—the sound of his bathing, brushing teeth—or simply doing wudhu. The sound of his beating heart when he fall asleep straight to my ear when I put my head on his chest—the pulse that live me up. The sound of him snoring—sometimes it bothers a little but I can bare with it. The sound of his voice—talking about his problems, my problems, our problems, our future, or simply small talk until 4am—or when he woke me up—so deep yet so soft. The sound when he’s breathing—and it tickles my skin— It calms me down. Those are the sounds that I’d like to hear for the rest of my life.

Hari ini gue duduk diem di tepi tempat tidur, setelah ngeliatin instastory orang-orang di instagram—ada yang abis sidang sarjana, graduation, kerja, nikah, embracing pregnancy, melahirkan… Like literally semua circle instagram gue orang-orangnya kegiatannya itu semua, and it makes me realize one thing: I’ve reached that age. That age, when all of your friends are getting married—having kids—having a good job in a good company—etc. Gue dalem hati tuh kayak, ‘asli…….. kok gue masih di sini aja ya.’ Untuk masalah relationship, okelah, gue bahagia sama pasangan gue yang sekarang. He treats me well and I adore him so much. I see our future. I see myself having kids and growing old together with him, and we will work on it to make it really happen. The problem is, as a veri-veri-sensitive human being, ngeliat temen-temen gue banyak yang udah lulus, kerja,nikah, punya anak dll tuh pressurenya beda sendiri. Bikin mupeng iya, ngeri iya. Point gue tuh gue jadi flashback ke masa-mas...

Karena terlalu sering bersama, bertatap muka, bersentuhan fisik dan berbicara langsung, Maka pada saat berjauhan, penghargaan yang dirasakan tidak sama lagi seperti pertama hubungan dijalin. Just because you saw your significant other almost everyday, that doesn’t mean she/he did’nt need your attention when you two are in a different place. Sometimes humans are like that. They didn’t appreciate their significant other, simply because they think their significant other will always understand about their point of view. Love is all about two things: loyalty, and maintaining every aspect of relationship–like communication and attention. When you did not loyal, love ends. When you did not maintain, love dies. 

aku tersandar di sofa yang tak bisa lagi disebut nyaman, memikirkan semua kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang mungkin terjadi di hidupku, tentang hal-hal yang tidak aku lakukan dan tentang hal-hal yang aku lakukan namun kusesali. aku berpikir mengapa manusia selalu mempunyai prasangka baik dan buruk dan apa saja hal yang mendasari itu. aku bertanya-tanya apa yang terjadi jika hal itu terjadi dan apa yang terjadi bila hal ini terjadi. aku berpikir mengapa manusia selalu salah kaprah atas semua ekspektasi dan realita di depan mata mereka. aku berpikir apakah orang-orang disekitarku memang benar adanya untukku dan apakah memang aku memang benar untuk mereka. aku bertanya-tanya mengapa percaya itu sulit dan mengapa konsep kuat dan tegar itu rumit. aku bertanya-tanya mengapa manusia rela bersakit-sakitan untuk orang yang belum tentu akan selalu memuaskan keinginan mereka selamanya. mengapa manusia rela hatinya terdesak untuk hal-hal fana. mengapa aku rela terdesak untuk hal-hal fana. mengapa man...

Hi! Because my lame country blocked all of Tumbler access, I am gonna using blogger again as my medium to write everything down. I will move the posts from my Tumblr account to this blog again! Cheers! xx